Wishful New Year

New year provides an illusion of a clean slate. It gives off the feeling of being new, being free of all the shackles from the past year. It gives an opportunity to forget and leave all worries behind the past year – hence, the term “new year, new me.” after all, new year is a fresh start. A chance to write on a new page the universe has given us. And whether we like the change that is coming, it is inevitable.

Holding the memories of the past year in the palm of my hands, clutched deep in my heart is the thought that these memories are important. That no matter what new things come, or what change is going to happen, these memories will keep me on ground this whole year. Change is inevitable and knowing there is a possibility that I’ll forget these memories I keep so dear frightens me. I think I will never fully relate to the saying “new year, new me” since I am a mosaic of all the memories I hold for the past years. That all the things I have changed about myself are everything that past me didn’t like. 

New year makes me feel a bunch of emotions, happy for a new start, sad for the memories of last year that will only stay there since the people I made them with are no longer here. It makes me nervous for what is yet to come yet it also makes me feel relieved, thanking the universe that I get to live another year making memories. I won’t deny it is quite overwhelming at times, like the fireworks up in the sky, or the horns children blow on. The only thing I can do when the clock strikes midnight is silently wish that the new year will be good to us (and maybe jump, in hopes of becoming taller)

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